VALUING values

A good example I give people when discussing their values and how they actually value them is when I say what do you look for in someone or something? Automatically you think of traits such as loyal, trustworthy, growth, peace, and respectful. I feel as though those term can change based on what you are looking to build such as a healthy work environment, friendships and relationships, a living space, a classroom, a club or hobby group, an organization, and MORE!

Things that I have grown up to look for and value within myself, the things I do, and the people I surround myself with are...

    1. LOYALTY: Loyalty to me is something that comes with EVERYTHING. I feel as though there is no relationship or connection to something without loyalty. A couple of examples that apply to my life would be the loyalty that I hold with my friends and family. I will always stand by them, defend them, and put them above all. Another example of loyalty is loyalty to your hairdresser or nail tech because you trust them and have a love for their work and how they make you feel and you wouldn't go elsewhere even if they are extremely busy because you are LOYAL to them.

    2. RESPECT: Respect is something earned and then reciprocated back. I feel that respect is another important value to have that builds relationships amongst one-another and care for your community or certain things/experiences. An example of respecting someone would be to be aware of their boundaries and having some sort of care towards how they feel and the restrictions they have set. Having respect for your community is recognizing them and how we co-exist amongst one-another. An example of this would be when you choose to give back to the community and help with a local organization or donate to a local food pantry, or maybe even just pick up litter around the area. You can also be respectful to your community by not saying derogatory statements or anything hurtful or offensive that may impact someone in a negative way.

    3.BALANCE: Balance is HUGE value to me. I look for in others when considering them to be my partner or even a friendship how well they are able to balance a healthy work to social life or even how they balance friendships to relationships. You can even implicate that into how you balance your school work to your job. Balance is something that creates a set schedule or amount of time where you execute one task or thing and have an idea of how much time you can set aside to complete something else.

    4. GROWTH: I feel that growth is a very important value to recognize. If you are not the same person next year and you have grown into a more open minded, kinder, and more uplifting person THAT is the goal. You want to see yourself, others, and your community... that is the goal in this life!!! To be able to acknowledge that you have had experiences whether they were positive or negative, impact you to change ways you look and go about certain things and re-access things and grow to hold yourself to a higher standard or to set boundaries that work better for yourself that means you grew. Growth and change mean you are advancing and pushing yourself to be the best version of yourself (which also inspires others around you) and leaves an impact on your community!

    5. LOVE: One of my biggest core values would be how much I am able to love. I am so lucky to have come from such a loving household and family and do not realize how often I do things out of love. People from college have said to me so many times that I have such a big heart and they don't understand how I am so loving and forgiving. Being able to spread love and love others that are unable to love themselves or understand how to love is something I will always do. I know that can be exhausting but it's my moral compass and is a value I grew up by that I have always shared with myself and others. Do things with and from love.

A time where I have seen growth is in the book "It Ends With Us" by Colleen Hoover it discusses a character named Lily Hoover who moved to Boston, MA to begin her life as a young women. She was running away from this life that she lived with her toxic home life with an abusive father and wants to escape her old memories. She ends up in a toxic relationship herself with a man she would have never anticipated to be this evil villain in her story. The growth in this story is how she reached a point where she has pregnant with a baby girl and had been getting physically assaulted by her romantic partner. She chose to want a better life for herself by moving to Boston and knew that she could not put her daughter through what she went through as a child. In the beginning of the book you could interpret her as a weak girl who has a lot of baggage but at the end you see someone who has grown to love and respect herself and want better for herself. Although she came from a life where she dreaded being home and her mother unfortunately was not strong enough to move away from Lily's father until he had passed Lily refuses to set that example for her daughter and wants healthy love and to be able to exemplify growth for herself and her new baby. Lily heavily struggled with trying to find a new way in the world without falling back and recreating the patterns of violence from youth from her childhood but at the end of the book mentions on how it will end with her and her newborn baby, which happens to be ironic because when I initially would've interpreted the title to foreshadow her finding her person who would POSITIVELY impact her life.